How to Stop Being a Loser « Personal Development and Success Coaching by C.S. Hughes

How to Stop Being a Loser August 31, 2010

When I started my journey of self discovery and personal development back in 1998, I was not a guy who liked reading. As a matter of fact, I didn't really care for it at all. And other than my spiritual study, I almost never read.

As a high school student, I was known to make up a book report or two. I have had to pay a big price for cheating the system, and if I had it all over to do again, I would certainly play by the rules. But my point is, I didn't like reading, and I'd do just about anything to avoid it.

It wasn't until I started reading books that had immediate application in my life that I began to enjoy reading. In the beginning, the books that really turned me on were books about getting rich. I didn't have any money and I wanted some, so the “How to Get Rich” books got me reading. And I loved it! And once I learned there were books out there that I actually wanted to read, that were enjoyable and wouldn't put me in a coma like my high school reading curriculum, I became a voracious reader.

For a season of my life, I would have stacks of books around my bed. I would finish a book every 1, 2 or 3 days. Sometimes longer, but I was devoting literally every minute of my discretionary time to reading, and could get through an average size book in 2-3 days.

I was like a crack addict, in a really good way. I wanted my fix. I needed my fix. Very few understood my obsession, and I've never really talked about it publicly, but I want to share it with you now.

Up to that point in my life, there was so much around me that said, “You're not enough.” Those of you who've read my story, know I wasn't doing well. But after I started reading the type of books I mentioned above, it was like there was a voice in the books calling out to me, saying things like, “You can do this! You can do anything you want! You are enough! Don't let anyone or anything tell you otherwise!” Every time I picked up the book, the “voices” in the book would reinforce my desire to be someone.

As a result of many failures in life, setbacks and disappointments, added to the fact that I was in high school for 6 years, and in college for 5, before I dropped out as a sophomore, I had major self-confidence and self-image problems. My life was in many aspects a total disappointment. There was no one or no thing celebrating my existence. My biggest accomplishment in those days was having a night at the restaurant where I earned $80 in tips, or maybe I sold the most “Awesome Blossoms” (a deep fried onion appetizer). Come to think of it, I think someone else who won that contest. Regardless, it had been years since I had a pat on the back for anything of real consequence.

When I finished reading my first “success” book in 1998, it was like I had awaken. Something changed in me… forever. I felt like I could be a winner. I felt like I had made a major stride in my life. I felt like I had accomplished something great. I felt like my life was going to get better. I felt validated. I felt good. And the rest is history. I've been like a crack-hag for the good stuff ever since.

Every time I finished a book, it was as if I could feel someone patting my back saying, “Good job! You're on your way! You are enough! You will be a somebody someday soon!” All of these “voices” (I don't see dead people by the way) created a self perpetuating feeding frenzy. When I opened a book and began to read, the voice said, “You're enough! You can do this!” When I finished a book, the voice said, “Good job! You're on your way!” I couldn't wait to pick up a book and read. And I couldn't wait to finish the book. The validation and self confidence I was enjoying as a result was incredible! I was pounding the books out, one by one, because doing so made me feel like less of a loser. I know, I know, harsh word but true.

Finishing a book back then was a major accomplishment for me in a time of my life where I really had little else going for me and it had been a very, very long time since I had any accomplishment to speak of. I felt so badly about who I was in those days, but as I read, I felt like I was gonna be ok, and that's the truth about why I read so much and so often. It was a precious, wonderful and even sacred time of healing and growth which has effected me in ways that I can not even put into words.

Like it? Share it. Thank you.

Tags: C.S. Hughes, How to stop being a loser, Reading, Success Coach, Why I read

Abuddha9

I agree Mr. Hughes; reading is the fuel for my head that’s positive. It is the daily fix that says “You can do it Rena.” I loved this post…
http://www.cshughes.com C.S. Hughes

YOU CAN DO IT RENA! Yes you can! Thank you for your comments. CSH
Jnlytton

I have always been an avid reader Mr. Hughes but found other distracting works to fill my time. Once I began reading personal development I found that I would consistently be surprised by how much benefit I reap from these living and dead authors.

Just an hour ago I encountered yet another example of the universe working in mysterious ways. I re-read the Chapter in “Think and Grow Rick” on Auto Suggestion yesterday evening when I felt I had run out of time to qualify for our companies September promotion. I got a good night’s sleep and awoke with an idea that paid off in my qualifying for the promotion just this morning. The potential impact on my personal business for next month and future business partners is incalculable at this point. Stay tuned.

Reading the right stuff is magical! Thanks for all you are do. I am so grateful to have your wisdom in my life and look forward to seeing you in Dallas!
Delano berry

Thank you C.H., Thank you for your mentorship, I have drawn the line in the sand and the war is on…every time I read somthing from you I hear the voice telling me I can do it, that I am enough, I really appreciate you reaching out. the best is yet to come..
http://www.cshughes.com C.S. Hughes

Delano: You can! You can! You can! So glad you are here and so glad that you have shared this. Yes, the best is yet to come. I have plans. CSH
http://www.cshughes.com C.S. Hughes

Jnlytton: What a great story. Thanks for sharing and for being a part of our community. CSH
Sandra Grant

Although I cannot relate to not wanted to read in school, I can definately relate to feeling enlightened when I read self improvement books. I have felt like a loser most of my life and due to the subject matter that I focus on today, I do feel a bit of a shift. Self confidence is not there 100% but at least today, I have the willingness to try and do something different. Not sure what that is yet, but I really do have alot of enlightening stories and challenges that I have overcome in my life that need to be shared. I am hoping that others can benefit from them also. Thank you for sharing your insight and how “it was” for you. With reading your posts, I know I am not alone.
Giovannito610

My life has changed because of the food I have fed my mind. I constantly read and read some more because I have been slapped in the face with the wisdom found in books. My first book was “rich dad, poor dad”. Before reading that book my goals in life revolved around me as an employee. Now, because of the “cashflow quadrant” philosophy, I have found that not everybody has to be and employee and that there are more choices out there than I ever thought possible. Because of the wisdom found in books I have learned of many different ways in which I can improve relationships, my health, my thinking, my spiritual strength and much much more. But best of all, I have found out the TRUTH that if I want things to get better, I need to get better, and books can help me do that. lol. Never heard that one in school.
Mladybiker54

Thank you for sharing such a personal part of your self. I to have suffered from no self esteem, I have been working on myself for a long time and have found the books are truly enlightening. I have grown so much this past year, and know I have so much more to do. thank you for sharing what you do.I will keep reading and growing.
Kendra

The first Personal Development book that really got to me was The Slight Edge. It was the very first book I read for personal development and I thank a mentor of mine so much for giving it to me.
http://www.cshughes.com C.S. Hughes

Kendra: That is an AWESOME BOOK! And an excellent foundation for all other books to stand on. Thank you for sharing! By the way, who’s your mentor? Anyone we know? CSH
Kathleen L Russo

Thank you for sharing the voices…we all hear them, but, we either ignore them, or refuse to belive them….It is comforting to know that we are not alone as we stumble to rise up to who we are supposed to be…thanks again for sharing that part of yourself with us, so that we too can be lifted up and help others…you are amazing…we are amazing.
http://www.cshughes.com C.S. Hughes

Kathleen: Thank you for feedback and understanding my voices. You’re right, we all hear the voices, that’s the easy part. Taking heed is where the magic is. Thank you for your being a part of our community. CSH
http://www.cshughes.com C.S. Hughes

Mladybiker54: So many of us struggle with self-esteem. As a matter of fact, I will soon write an article about my favorite tool for building high self worth and self esteem. Stay tuned! And thank you for joining the community. CSH
http://www.cshughes.com C.S. Hughes

Giovannito610: Rich Dad, Poor Dad is such a great book. When I dropped out of college I went to the book store to see if I could find a book that made me feel better about myself. I found one that happened to be authored by Robert T. Kiyosaki. It was titled, “If You Want to be Rich and Happy, Don’t Go to School!” I loved it! Thanks for being a part of our community! I look forward to your next comment. CSH
http://www.cshughes.com C.S. Hughes

Sandra Grant: Thanks for jumping into this with us. You are definitely not alone. There’s a bunch of us here who have and are feeling many of the same things, though our backgrounds may be different. CSH
Jose C Brito

This is Hot, you are totally right reading increases your knowledge as well as your desire to
grow.unfotunately must of us let our weaknes get the best of us, and leave the important thinks of our lifes for tomorrow.( i have been doing my 10 pages a day )some day I will do a book in a few days.
Patty

Reading is a great hobby and finding time to read is difficult so I get books on tape and listen to them on my drive commute. I am trying to find books about financial improvement but not much is available. Most the books you list are unavailable in the library and always checked out so they must be good, I will reserve as many as I can and hopefully read them soon. Thanks for the encouragement about reading good material, I could really use financial wisdom in my life and I hope I have the same results from this reading material.
Patty
Mario M

I can very much relate to your story. I hated reading, until I started reading self development books. My life has changed since, I’m not at your stature Mr Hughes, but I believe I will also be there soon. Youre an inspiration to many, keep doing what youre doing. Thanks again Mr. Hughes
http://www.markhibbitts.com MarkHibbitts

Hi Chris, This is great! I love reading too and have a growing library of classic wealth creation and personal development books. A few years ago if someone told me I needed personal development I’d probably have punched them! I thought I was fully grown already! Boy was I wrong.

These days I often listen to audio books too as I’m often in the car and the cliche that leaders are readers is very true.

I get those voices too! lol.
http://www.healthycoffesgreat.com Robertbaylosis

I’m about to finish the book you gave “You Were Born Rich” and I’ve been practicing what was suggested in the book. I feel different now and made a lot of changes in the way I think now. With this first book that I am reading I stopped to be a Loser and started to think to be a great winner.
Thank you so much Chris for your mentoring us. It sure is changing my life.
Louiemcguire

Chris,
I feel the same way. Three years ago approximately, I was turned on to Personal Development by being recommended books to read. Boy, once I started I quit reading everything else and totally focused on P.D. books. That included getting rich, leadership, network marketing, and self-help books. Of course the Bible is a must, but after that, zip. I love your story and I would love to emulate you since I am in the same business as you. Let’s Go!!
Melody

Books are an amazing journey! I have always read books and enjoyed reading. I just did not realize the great books that were out there until I got involved with PPL. I just can’t get enough! I drive many hours each month and enjoy reading/audio books with my car being “drive time university” The amazing thing is I am finding the time to listen to books several times and getting so much more out of them. I also enjoy actual reading at lunch time (instead or gossiping) and in the evening instead of watching TV. Thanks again for another great story.
Mark

I love the part about how you used a crack addict to show us what you meant about how intense you read. I feel like the gravity of our negative environment is like a NASA flight to space where a lot of fuel and energy is used to just to break free of our earths gravitational pull. It takes a lot to break free from the gravitational pull of a bad habit but reading helps us maintain and keep us from falling back. Right On!!
Cindy Shattuck

I am continually encouraged by
your stories to ‘press on’ Mr Hughes.
Thank you
http://www.cshughes.com C.S. Hughes

Thank you Cindy. Press on indeed. You can! Your choice!! As always, thanks for chiming in. CSH
http://www.cshughes.com C.S. Hughes

Mark C: For sure!! Great example with the rocket ship. I do not see rapid change for people where there is no intense thrust in their life. Jim Rohn calls it “an intensified learning curve.” love that and so true! Thanks for your voice in our community!! CSH
http://www.cshughes.com C.S. Hughes

Jose C: This is awesome bud! Love to hear people following the success recipe. Let’s take action today!! So glad have you here at my blog. You ate a valued part of the community. You can!! Your choice!! CSH
http://www.cshughes.com C.S. Hughes

Patty: I love books on tape. I read every day without fail, but I do like to add onto my reading a book on tape every now and again. I just finished, “The Compound Effect” on mp3 by Darren Hardy. I really enjoyed it. You can get the books o give away at any bookstore for dirt cheap. Awesome comments!! Success!! CSH
http://www.cshughes.com C.S. Hughes

Mario M: Yes you will be Mario. Keep it up and thanks for adding your voice to our community!! Success!! CSH
http://www.cshughes.com C.S. Hughes

Robertbaylosis: I do not take your comments and remarks lightly. Thank you so much. I treasure this mind of feedback. Welcome to our community and I look forward to your next comment. You can!! Your choice!! CSH
http://www.cshughes.com C.S. Hughes

LouieMc: Awesome areas of study. Great comments and welcome!! Glad you’re here. Success!! CSH
http://www.cshughes.com C.S. Hughes

Melody: Awesome!!!!!!! Yes turn the car into a mobile classroom. If people would commit to this for just a year they wouldn’t believe what would happen! Thanks for adding your voice to the discussion. Success!! CSH
Berat98

Thank You for your story, it has inspired me to spend more time reading books on personal development. I would also like to get my kids to read these books.
http://www.markhibbitts.com MarkHibbitts

And I meant to add that as well as reading the books, you should also take ACTION on what you’ve learned. Not much point otherwise!
http://twitter.com/Michelle4Jesus Michelle 4 Jesus

Thank you for sharing your humble experience! I have been struggling with my past mistake and I picked up the bible. I started reading it avidly – It helped reminded me of God’s promises. I had to renew my mind through reading scriptures. I started believing that I needed to let go and forgive myself. I also had to believe in myself. Reading is a good confident builder & it helped me stop being a loser Keep up with the articles they are edifying!
http://www.bestattractionmarketingtips.info Brian Pinski

Thanks C.S. for a very inspiring post. I too have never really liked to read all that much. But with the different personal development books that are out there it seems a lot easier to read them. I had bought Think and Grow Rich a number of years ago but never finished it. I guess I really wasn’t ready for what it had to teach me. Having gotten involved in network marketing in the past year and reading and seeing about how important personal development is a part of it I have been reading Think and Grow Rich again and will finish it this time.

Another book which is easy to read but it helps form the habit of reading is Og Mandino’s “The Greatest Secret In The World.” It is really his book The Greatest Salesman In the World but with the success recorder built in. This week I will finish the Scroll Marked IV. Fifteen weeks done and 6 scrolls and 30 weeks to go until I finish that and then can begin reading it anew. Reading this book really does inspire you to keep pushing forward. For anyone struggling to get into a reading habit I suggest this book, Thanks again C.S.

Brian Pinski
Janah Ppl

Your story makes a lot of sense. Reading really can change our whole lives!!!!! Hopefully, your role modeling will change a lot of lives and mine. Look at what people miss out on otherwise. Life is really good, no matter what is going on out there when we read the right stuff.
Anonymous

I know in growing I will read more and more, this is a part I have a hard time with. some books its hard to read ten pages some I can do more. I push to read more. and funny things I have a hand full of books I have not read yet b/c the path I have gone down.Books I thought would work well for me I got nuggets for sure , but the books I thought would do nothing are the best reads .I found a book called the secret power within ,zen solutions to real problems its the audobio from Chuck Norris. I got it as a joke to say I had Chuck norris P/d but its one of the best books I have read. been a dancer I can relate to the long hours of been beat up for your art and pushing very hard to beat everyone in your craft witch made me the dancer I am today. and the pushes me to other skills in life if I try and try hard and never give up. I will see the slight edge take place. and my reading is getting that way. I have dubbled the books this year from what I have read last year. im about to need a shelf. but alot of me wants to re read some books I did not understand that I see a bigger picture to now.
Elwan, Nayef

Nayef Elwan, Thank you Chris for sharing your experiences in life. I see a lot of similarity between
your story and mine. The only diffenece that the voice I hear after finishing reading ” you are enough” does not last too long. I guess I have to read more often. I appreciate your input in this subject and I thank God that created us with a programable mind. I am working hard to get the results you got. God bless you.

http://www.cshughes.com C.S. Hughes

Elwan: I appreciate these comments. Thank you. Keep them coming. CSH

RJStratton

Wow Chris! i am glad that i am not the only one I hated to read until just recently and during the last 3 months i have been going through a book a week. Just finished Howard Schultz the Starbuck story, outliers, magic of thinking big, the quick and easy way to effective speaking by Dale Carnegie, Good to Great, Business of the 21st Century by robert Kyosaki, and many others. I feel like my mind has been freed and opened. I have grown mentally and spiritually.
I am not the same person that I was before starting this epic journey through the pages of mind altering subject matter. I love reading your entries as I can relate. Do not ever stop what your doing. RJ Stratton

http://www.cshughes.com C.S. Hughes

RJStratton: AWESOME!! Good for you. Those are all fantastic books! I appreciate you kind words!! CSH

PowerofpdPhilana

Mr. Hughes,
It feels like you are writing my story.
Philana

http://www.cshughes.com C.S. Hughes

PowerofPD: Please share your story with us. We’re waiting…. CSH

Mark Schlenker

I know what you mean Chris. When I got my first job in the copier industry my first manager gave me the book, “7 habits of highly effective people”. I read it and it made me feel like I could do something more. around that time I joined an MLM and began reading self help books AND self awareness books. A couple of Og Mandino’s books, The power of Positive thinking and The 5 Love languages. I was not only “beginning to believe” (the Matrix) but I was hungry. I was hungry for more of what was feeding me with the information that was helping me to realize that I was more than the sum of my life experiences, to that point, I began to realize that I was created with a uniquie and wonderful gift set that I had visions and dreams that I was destined to fulfill and that I needed to NOT let others and the circumstances of my life dictate to me what my life would look like, but rather, I needed to take ahold of my life and determine for myself what I wanted it to look like.

about 5 years ago, because of a flair up, I had to face a “disability” that I have been able to ignore for most of my life. I was diagnosed with epilepsy at the age of nine. It has been under control most of my life, but suddenly it began to “flair up”. I lost my drivers license, a $100,000 a year job in outside sales, ultimately my wife and family and simply had to face it and start dealing with it. I felt so deflated and defeated. It was like all of the things I learned over the years of reading and applying those principles just went out the window, because I was JUST a disabled, handicapped looser! But reading your posts on this website reminds me about the first thing I realized.

I DO NOT HAVE TO LET THE CIRCUMSTANCES OF MY LIFE DICTATE TO ME WHO I AM OR WHAT MY LIFE LOOKS LIKE!!!

I am a winner, because I choose to be. I am a money magnet, because I choose to be. I am successfull and in the process of fulfilling my God given dreams and visions because I choose to be and because, no matter what obstacles get in my way, I will do what it takes to achieve them!!!

I know I’ve said it before, but THANK YOU, for awakening that in me which had been knocked unconscious by circumstances and situations that seemed overwhelming!!!

http://www.cshughes.com C.S. Hughes

Mark S: Talk about “handicaps,” this guy takes the cake! If he can do it you and ANYONE can do it! http://www.lifewithoutlimbs.org CSH

D.E. Whaley

I love that guy! He is such an inspiration to say that you can.

http://www.cshughes.com C.S. Hughes

D.E. Yes he’s great huh? I preordered his newest book. CSH

Miguel Cortez

I sitll remember my frist book in which i finish and readed ….
Andrew

I read your email today wanting some support, so I thought it was time to comment and show some love.
I found your site casually after seeing a motivational clip you posted on youtube from the movie “Facing the giants”. And it was casually at the exact time you started this blog.
So I have been here from day one, reading like a beast ( at least in my standards, like a book every 3 days, although a have read a couple directly in a day without being able to stop) and heading fullspeed into the unknown… This blog entry is telling my own story.
Thanks Chris ( I feel I can call you by your name), Thank you
Triskel_999

I´m feeling like a loser now but I´ve had lots of accomplishments and thrown them down the drain..I´m like the super talented loser..I think that´s even worse..hopefully your page will help me..

http://www.cshughes.com C.S. Hughes

Triskel_999: You are not a loser. As you indicated, you may have made some bad choices, but that does not constitute being a loser. My blog will absolutely help so long as you are willing to let go of the past and make better decisions. My life was one stupid error in judgement after another, until I began the journey I’m inviting you to take. You are not beyond reach. You can be happy. You can be successful. You can be a person of influence. You in? CSH